A Tryst with DISTRUST

I have been closely following a set of events, my own life, national affairs, world affairs, and many other issues. These issues may or may not be relevant to me. But following something closely gives one, a deeper sense of understanding, I firmly believe. At the same time, I also speculate whether one’s understanding of things around are fair or are they biased as a function of other factors in one’s life. I know I am contradicting myself. I do not have a clear mind at times. I have tried to describe the whole process of trying to understand ‘what trust is, and what it means’ in the following few paragraphs. While describing the process, I have tried my best to follow a close outline. This in turn, has helped me to filter my thoughts and classify my feelings in a better fashion. I hope, at the end of it, things are more clear to me. Well, that has always been the intention of me jotting down something. Self realization.

Childhood and growth:

We all are deeply influenced by our parents, guardians, and elder people closely related to us. Well, the time of influence (not the span) is the childhood. We all are still in a state where we can be molded. The message conveyed by the family to the child, again, depends on the background and values of the family in general. Some families may try to inculcate a ‘good values’ system in the kid. The definition of ‘good values’ itself is subjective. What you consider to be good values, need not be approved by me. Hence, the essential difference comes in the childhood itself.

Anyway, I stick to one case, and one case alone. I was taught by my parents and people who influenced me that trust is very important in life. Since I was told by people who were my mentors, I blindly believed it. Ah yes! My father, mother and teachers tell me, trust is an important thing in life. Then it must be true. I need to trust everyone and in turn everyone will trust me. Life is so good. Peace.

Is life so simple?

Maybe.

I grew. I was a teenager now. It was time I get influenced by others and other factors. Still, life was good. I was having fun, and loads of it. I never looked beyond a certain dimension. I was innocent. Trust me (Ironical… isn’t it?), innocence is good. Television, movies, papers, magazines, friends, and family, all play an important role in one’s development during this stage. I was liking it.

Then sometime in my early teenage - Shock. I don’t remember what it was all about. But I did feel it once. That was my first meeting with distrust. I was taken aback. I mean, here I was, with a value system, which tells me that every being on this planet is perfect, and everything happens for the good. I still couldn’t question my value system. Very well, I thought, maybe it was something to be ignored. I went on.

It is funny but I have to mention this now. I was extremely addicted to WWF then. I used to follow every fight and sequence of events that were designed to entertain the viewers and keep them glued till the next session. I remember very vividly, Stone Cold Steve Austin coming on to the ring, creating havoc. More importantly, I remember his punch line: ‘’Never trust anyone’’. I am not sure whether he follows it himself in his off screen life. But it did affect me a lot. I used to go around screaming my guts out. A few people told me that I had gone insane. But most of my friends liked it. And we still had a great trust in one another, which was essentially a result of that screaming. Funny, but true.

As I grew, I realized life wasn’t that easy. I started seeing wrong things happen. It never really disturbed me. But it definitely made me start thinking. Since then, I have been meeting Mr. Distrust quite often. I thought more. Innocence was no more. More thinking.

Learnings:

Life became ugly. But, thinking gave a deeper understanding of things around.

I learnt that an individual has a choice all the time: the choice of doing the wrong thing.

Well, once again, the definition of wrong thing itself is subjective. This degree of freedom is available with every person, and the sanctity of trust lies at the core of this choice. There are people who choose to exercise this freedom, and there are others who do not. Which sect will one appreciate? This choice lies with you. And your choice defines the sect you belong to.

I think now. Has life really become ugly? Maybe not.

Implications:

You can either be happy being naïve, or choose to know that there are other things which will disturb you, but be happy at the same time that you have a better understanding of things.

''To learn something, one has to sacrifice the state of not knowing the same.''