The Unforgettable Dream

The intro

I stand
I look down
Shining hair
I smell
The scent is intoxicating
I am moving
I feel
I feel the light feet on my feet
I move to the music
The caress of the skin
The eyes look up to me
I dance
The peck on the neck
The jolt down the spine
The world stops
The girl
A dream…

Ah!! The dream.

P.S : Joe Sat rocks.

Auto-Driver (I): A stint with an air-hostess

My job is monotonous. I like it though. I see people, I see more people. That part of my job is fun, though sometimes I have to get along with certain things that I do not really like.

It is my daughter’s face that keeps me going. I work the evening and night shift, so that I get to spend time with my daughter. She is only 5 years old, and I have one more year till she starts attending formal school. Till then I intend to continue working in the evenings and nights.

I got married when I was 29. Its been 6 years since. My wife and I decided to have only one kid till we are able to afford and realize the better life for the three of us. Lot of people in my community have told me to go for another kid. I am firm about my decision. Even if the whole community issues a fatwa against me, I will stand by it. I do not want my kids to have discontinued education like me. All the arguments which say that a lone kid remains a loner, and will always be in need of the sibling affection are true. But unless and until I am able to sustain the lives of the three of us, it does not make sense to get more affection into the family when the family itself cannot survive. One cannot live on affection.

Speaking about my work, as I said before, I get to meet a lot of people. It all began four months ago. On a Saturday night, I happened to pick up a few guys near M.G. Road at eleven thirty in the night. They had to catch a flight at 1230, and were in a hurry. They were a noisy lot, and I had a good time talking to them during the journey. It was a starless night, quite cloudy for a winter night. Customary to my work, I joined the queue of auto-rickshaws at the airport waiting for the passengers of the next flight to arrive. Since I had joined the queue late, I was anxious about getting a passenger for my auto.

The anxiety was well justified. I used to turn my eyes on every person coming out of the airport in the hope that he will take the auto first in line and I will get closer to the next person coming out of the airport. It is common practice that the auto drivers try to lure the passengers by approaching them well before they go in for the pre-paid service. Somehow that does not really work at the airport. I was anxious and was waiting.

An hour passed by since the time the flight had arrived, and it appeared to me as if all the passengers had already left. I was idle for 2 hours now. Everyday I work from 4 p.m. till 12 p.m. If I start late in the evening, I work late for an equivalent time. 2 hours of idle time meant, one fourth of my wages were cut straight away. I don’t know why I had taken that decision of waiting there. But then, something told me that it will be justified. I waited.

I lit a cigarette, and was sharing it with a fellow auto driver. The cold night was wearing me out, and there I was waiting for a passenger, with a cigarette between my fingers.

A soft and strained voice called me from behind and in a hurry I ashed my cigarette and turned around. The figure standing in front of me was that of a slender, fragile and scared girl who was trying to portray a bold image. She was wearing, what appeared to me, a miniature version of a school uniform. She was well groomed and looked pretty. She wasn’t the most beautiful girl I had seen, but she definitely had a very soothing appearance. The scared feeling was quite evident and she was making a futile effort at being bold. I felt as if I should be comforting her. Mixed emotions hit me. As always, my duty took over and I am really proud of myself for the same. She asked me if my auto was booked already, and I asked her to step in and take the seat.

She asked me to take her to her house and gave me the location and the directions and the journey started. Then began the conversation. It wouldn’t have been difficult for me to strike a conversation with any of my passengers, but there was something about this girl that made me feel awkward. I did my best to feel at ease in my own auto and tried to put her at ease too. I asked her as to why she looked terrified. She never expected a response like that from an auto driver.

She started telling me how every time she steps into a public transport vehicle, she receives glares from the male community of the society. She described the insecurities and the fears of doing the job that she was doing. Maybe she felt comfortable talking to me about her inner feelings and was letting herself go. She had been working as an air hostess for almost a year now, and had always feared the night. The job is such that it demands work at vague hours of ones life. I could very well understand her situation. The glamour of one world when comes down to another where it is not generally experienced or seen, things might take a different turn. And it is this realization that had made her afraid of everything around her.

She was a girl from a middle class background. That is what I could decipher from her house, and the surroundings. She told me that she felt really comfortable and secure during the journey and asked me for my cell number. I did not find anything wrong in giving my contact number to her, although I did enquire as to why she would need it. Her trust in me made her ask me for a favor. She asked me if I could drop her home every time she had a night flight back to Bangalore. Within an instant she realized that it would be unfair on her behalf to ask an auto driver for such a favor, as in our profession you never know which part of the city you are in at a given time of the day. She rephrased her statement and asked me if I could oblige, in case I was in that part of the city. I couldn’t say anything and it was assumed that I will be doing the job. I didn’t regret the assumption.

Over the next few months I picked her up several times from the airport and dropped her home. Every time I used to wonder as to how her job might be, what her daily chores are, how her family might be feeling about her job, and what her future plans her.

She used to call me in the afternoons to tell me that she will be landing in Bangalore at a specified time, and politely request me to be around airport at the same time. Somehow I used to get carried towards the airport and nearby areas and used to be there, at the airport, bang on time. But always, the timing that she used to give me was the time the flight used to land. Somehow in spite of understanding the basic fact that it takes an hour more for an air hostess to come out of the airport after the flight has landed, I used to conveniently forget the fact and wait there for an hour or more. To an extent this had its impact on my work and earnings. But it was well worth it as a girl felt secure and safe and some how I felt that thanks to me, the whole mankind was getting the security and trustworthy feeling. I started feeling good and gave myself the credit.

Once I did make a mention of the fact that I was losing out on working hours because I was waiting for her at the airport. The next time she bought a packaged meal from the airport lounge with some chocolates and asked me to give it to my kids. I thanked her and promptly reminded her that I had only one kid. I also told her that the gifts are always measured by the person’s intentions and never by the size of the magnitude and thanked her again. I also told her that I will be gifting her something invaluable.

Every time she used to step in to my auto, she was on the phone speaking with her boyfriend. In fact I used to be surprised and used to think whether she has a free phone connection. Because to me, speaking so much on the phone is just not plausible, and I somehow felt that it cannot be so for anyone for that matter. She used to get into the auto while she was on the phone and get off the auto and she was still on the phone.

One day, she told me that the taxis that she used to take earlier, in Bangalore and different cities were pretty unsafe. And when I made the effort of asking her what did she feel was unsafe, she told me that the drivers of the vehicles used to look at her through the rear view mirrors quite often. This made her uncomfortable. Before I could understand and ask her to help me understand the same, she went on with the description of the whole situation. It felt pretty bad. But I had to analyze.

I tried figuring out why that might have been happening. She was not the prettiest of the lot, nor did she sport revealing clothes. I did understand that being the only girl in the vehicle could have been a factor, but generally people do not have time to think about other things while on duty. Or maybe that was the case only with me. Anyway, after close analysis did I realize that her talks with her boyfriend on the phone might be triggering emotions among the drivers. I did not want to jump to any conclusions. But it was quite apparent. In fact, being a married man myself, my own ears had turned to her conversations with her boyfriend at times and the conversations were quite explicit to say the least. Every human being has feelings and it is probably not possible to shut the senses completely. So I concluded that it was her own actions and conversations that were driving the wrong things around her.

Next time I met her, I gave her the Holy Quran translated in English as a gift. It was the invaluable gift that I had told her about. I did feel that I should tell her what my analysis was. But somehow I restrained myself from doing the same. I asked her to read the Quran whenever she was free and felt like understanding life better and what Islam was all about. I have deleted her number and never met her since.

I really hope that the angel on her right shoulder takes good care of her. I do pray for her well being and hope that she understands the follies and good things in life.

I wish to fly some day with my wife and my daughter and hope to find her helping us out in the flight. I will feel safe and secure then.