Wall (?) - Good or Bad ?
A lot has been happening in my life and lives of people around and close to me of late. A lot has always happened, but the recent happenings appear to carry more significance even in the short attention span than most other events did in their short term attention spans in my life. A lot has been learnt, and there does not seem to be a bottom line per se, but only learning, and more of it.
I had started believing firmly that the reason why people start pursuing materialistic pleasures is because pursuing relations or human beings is just not worth it. Parallely, I was contradicting myself, because I wanted to still pursue feelings, and the pain and pleasure they offer.
Amidst all this, it appeared to me that things are just not the same anymore. Most things around seem like a farce. I had begun trying to read between the lines with every person. I had actually begun implementing an advice given to me long ago on a jovial note, and had begun telling people what they wanted to hear and not what I wanted to say. I was losing my genuine behavior, the true me. Slowly, I had begun forming a protective shell around me. Is it good ? The wall that I was trying to create, and not letting people penetrate it and at the same time being scared about the shell enveloping me completely, was a kind of a contradiction. Was the act of two timing my own mind bad ? I had begun to firmly believe that nobody is genuine and the best thing is to avoid any situation where I would be vulnerable and would end up in a situation where I would get hurt.
All said and done, it was chaos, and usually things get sorted out, but this was increasingly becoming a trouble.
Yesterday, over a chat on a drive, Gabbar, who is one of my friends and happens to be an alumnus of my hostel, gave me some food for thought. He did not particularly classify people as genuine and not so genuine. People are different. But if one starts to create a shell around himself, he/she ends up portraying a character that he/she isn't. The perception offered to people is an illusion by itself, hence the judgment that people make of one is a completely distorted one. This in turn leads to a false circle being formed around oneself.
One would be blocking the only window that one has to the outer world : Oneself. In the longer run, the people who get filtered and eventually stick with you are the people who know the true person in you and are similar to you. Hence, by pretending to be someone else, you are taking away the possibility of similar people coming towards you.
In any case, cheers to genuineness. Anybody for a cold beer ?
PS : Had one of the best times of my life last night. Looking forward to the next few years in Bangalore which promise more such times.
I had started believing firmly that the reason why people start pursuing materialistic pleasures is because pursuing relations or human beings is just not worth it. Parallely, I was contradicting myself, because I wanted to still pursue feelings, and the pain and pleasure they offer.
Amidst all this, it appeared to me that things are just not the same anymore. Most things around seem like a farce. I had begun trying to read between the lines with every person. I had actually begun implementing an advice given to me long ago on a jovial note, and had begun telling people what they wanted to hear and not what I wanted to say. I was losing my genuine behavior, the true me. Slowly, I had begun forming a protective shell around me. Is it good ? The wall that I was trying to create, and not letting people penetrate it and at the same time being scared about the shell enveloping me completely, was a kind of a contradiction. Was the act of two timing my own mind bad ? I had begun to firmly believe that nobody is genuine and the best thing is to avoid any situation where I would be vulnerable and would end up in a situation where I would get hurt.
All said and done, it was chaos, and usually things get sorted out, but this was increasingly becoming a trouble.
Yesterday, over a chat on a drive, Gabbar, who is one of my friends and happens to be an alumnus of my hostel, gave me some food for thought. He did not particularly classify people as genuine and not so genuine. People are different. But if one starts to create a shell around himself, he/she ends up portraying a character that he/she isn't. The perception offered to people is an illusion by itself, hence the judgment that people make of one is a completely distorted one. This in turn leads to a false circle being formed around oneself.
One would be blocking the only window that one has to the outer world : Oneself. In the longer run, the people who get filtered and eventually stick with you are the people who know the true person in you and are similar to you. Hence, by pretending to be someone else, you are taking away the possibility of similar people coming towards you.
In any case, cheers to genuineness. Anybody for a cold beer ?
PS : Had one of the best times of my life last night. Looking forward to the next few years in Bangalore which promise more such times.
4 comments:
Unfortunately its not so complicated da. You live and then you die. Period
as i se it... these r the last few months to be what u r... at least for the time being... done with ur duties, bout to leave... hope u know what i mean
There are 2 types of persons classified broadly one who knows you think good abt u and other who r opposite, keeping neutral out.
The former are ones who are close to you and will find out good in everything you do and appreciate it or give a healthy criticism.
While latter are ones with whom how so ever hard u try will find out bad in u. Even slight up n down and cribs start.
A person remember the time he has spent with his true freinds and take their suggestions, so why wasting time trying to portray as someone else for people who doesn't hold such a position in your life.
P.S. just personal feelings dude...
[...] if one starts to create a shell around himself, he/she ends up...
Trippy shite. :)
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